'berkeluarga' is such a strong word.
on repeat track:
Laura & the Beehive by The Wonder Years
news about engagements and marriages has become something very common nowadays in my life, i mean like never before. With the little number of friends that i have, it made those information to become something more valuable and unexpected for me personally. and the fact that it all comes in a very much short period of time differences from one and another is made me quite frightening to be quite honest. i read things when people talk like ‘all the people around me are getting married’ and yadda yadda, but to experience it in a first-hand manner i almost cannot comprehend and grasp out of this all situation. my dear friends will go like living with their loved ones forever, starting a whole new life and making a whole new family? Of course i loved being a witness to those beautiful journeys! dont get me wrong. but, do these also mean that i should be doing the same..? as all my peer groups seem to be collectively doing this at the same time…
i would be lying if i said i was not feeling the pressure. but then i tried to not dwell on it too much, just like i usually do with my overthinking. but man oh man no matter how hard I tried to keep my composure, it always brings my spine down every single time i hear someone say the word ‘berkeluarga’. i am a big believer that words have heavy weight by the means they are bearing, and ‘berkeluarga’ is one of those words that always gets me goosebumps by the weight of the meaning and value that it has and is wrapped around it. look, society puts (aggressively) the norms and whatnot into the word as sacred as it gets, while the connotative meaning from a completely different aspect coats the word with the sign of this and that simultaneously, and dont forget it also has the innate definition of the word as itself. man thats a lot. my point is, seeing my friends who were way back then have the exact same habit and the exact same behavior as me as them live their daily lives also with me, to seeing them heading first to those new realms is just truly giving my standing and foremost respect.
berkeluarga/ber·ke·lu·ar·ga/ v. 1 berumah tangga; mempunyai keluarga: 2 menikah; mempunyai istri (suami).
housekeep, having a new family, getting married, having a wife or husband. the various layers of experiences someone would get starting from the act of saying the vow to the life they will live henceforth is something todays me would say as bewitching yet uncomprehended. its bewildering but also alluring. it was one of-if not the most exquisite adventures a human could possibly encounter. i just talking nonsense at this point, this shows the extent to which the news has an impact on me. i am perplexed. i felt intricate. i am enlightened but also confused. i dont even know where this entry is going. i was just pouring out my entangled thoughts, and i might end it now abruptly.
